Lullaby was a concept I came up with for a show called Daddy Issues, and is unsurprisingly, all to do with my relationship with my father. Over the course of the performance, I struggle my way free of my shirt, and against the bandages on my body, only to find myself not free, just vulnerable in front of the audience.

The song, Lullaby by Frank Carter and the Rattlesnakes, is one I saw performed live at Reading Festival 2017. He brought out his daughter, and announced to her and everyone there that day, that it is a song he had written for his daughter when she was very sick about how there was nothing he wouldn't do to see her safe and happy. While I was at the festival, I saw Muse perform Back in Black live with Brian Johnson (lead singer for AC/DC) shortly after he had announced he would no longer be touring. My dad told me afterwards how jealous he was by saying the performance was wasted on me.

This performance expresses my experience of living under that man, the shiny exterior I developed to keep people from seeing the damage, and the way I bound myself together to keep from falling apart in his house. It explores how shedding my defences isn't all there is to recovery, and can just leave one naked in a room full of strangers.

This performance was considered legendary in the local scene, and it's hard to disagree. This cabaret-style number, complete with chair-work and a feather boa, is energetic, flirty, and a real crowd-pleaser. It was an early example of a now favourite topic of mine - making a (sexy) spectacle of oneself for money and fame.

The look I put together for this number was designed with two factors in mind: obvious cross-dressing, and spectacle. The red smeared on the chest is a deliberate attempt to draw attention and alarm to what may otherwise be ignored: the fact of my body, the presence of breasts and the sexuality associated with their prominence. The number is set to the Broadway recording of Sugar Daddy from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which takes a step toward glam rock where the movie version is distinctly country; an intentional nod to both my origins and the identity I have created for myself as a performer, which is also reflected (!) in the unmistakable eye-catcher of the look: light up holographic flares. The glitter pants are frankensteined from an old costume made for me for an am-dram role in my hometown; a town where nobody knows my new name.

Ever more vexingly, when I perform I am sexualised, and that sex is a commodity I can use to forward my career - to my benefit, and my objectification. In sugar daddy, I take on the role of a spectacle. I invite the audience to desire, gawp at, and consume me. I will be suggestive, sparkly, naked, glow-in-the-dark, your venus on a chocolate clam shell rising on a sea of marshmallow foam; in an attempt highlight the disparity between what the performer gives and what the audience take.

Name, show, a little about it. an overview of the action.

background on the number - personal anecdote, song selection

meaning of the performance, what am i trying to say